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Ta Da!!!! PDF Print E-mail
Written by Gayle Nobel   
Tuesday, 18 January 2011 15:45

Blog-a-thon Day 2

Anyone want to join me on this blog-a-thon? ANYONEEEEE??? 

Here’s how it works:  you blog every day, I blog every day. We go at it for.... how long?  I’m afraid to commit out loud. I guess that’s to be determined by us bloggers. Personally, I'm resisting a time commitment so I will just keep blogging until I stop blogging.

I’m home and trying to get back in the groove. Kyle is sick and still in bed at 11 AM and I have had all this time to produce something. Thus far, I  have not produced anything. Gotta love it!

Leah is packing to go home. She has been here over a month- since college graduation. I am enjoying her buzzing around. She just told me I am so “mom dot com-ish”. I am thinking that is a compliment and chuckling when I think about it. Now she is taking a savasana break from packing-  that girl knows how to live!

Inspiration is contagious. I will share some of what I received in Taos via Jill Badonsky of themuseisin.com

Do you remember when you were a kid and you drew a picture and then you held it up and said “Ta Da”? You were so proud and felt so good about completing it. There were so many “ta da’s” when we were wee, weren’t there?

Well, I’m thinking the “To Do” list can be slid over (not necessarily discarded) so we can make room for the magic of the “Ta Da” List. 

Do you ever get to the end of the day and notice you have not crossed anything off that bless-ed “to do” list you took great pains to write? OOPS.. perhaps life got in the way. 

Maybe instead,  you were there for your sick child... nurturing, spoon feeding (as I was yesterday), loving. Maybe you got lost in a good book...we should only be so lucky. Maybe you spent an hour on the phone supporting a friend. Maybe you went on a shopping spree with your daughter who was home on break (speaking from experience :-) ) Maybe you even got to take a nap... I know, ha ha ha ha ha!

These are the kind of things that go on your Ta Da list which is great to write at the end of your day. These are the things you are glad you did, accomplished. These might be ways you have creatively taken care of yourself. Maybe you finally make that difficult phone call you have been procrastinating on or finally said “no” when you were about to say “yes”.  This is your celebration list.  

Just like that little kid, living in the moment, and holding up that beautiful page of scribbles, what are you glad you did?  The next day, that little kid wants that feeling again, doesn't she? The Ta Da list is important for giving ourselves credit at the end of the day. It helps us go to sleep feeling a sense of fullness. And that sense of fullness feeds our soul. 

You’re invited. Make yourself a Ta Da list.  One item is enough to constitute a list but you will not want to stop there. Be sure to seal it up with a giant “TA DA” at the end. 

 

 

Last Updated on Tuesday, 18 January 2011 15:59
 
I Got To PDF Print E-mail
Written by Gayle Nobel   
Monday, 17 January 2011 16:17

 Blog-a-thon Day #1

Even better than I Have to or I Need to is I Get To. I talked about this in Breathe in the story WORDS.  How does your perspective and attitude change if you shift an "I Have To" to an "I Get To"... Hmmm.

I GOT TO....

Attend a creative retreat given by Jill Badonsky (author & creativity guru) at Mabel Dodge Luhan’s Lodge in beautiful Taos, New Mexico WITH my good friend of 20 years, Kathy Almeida

Spend time with Kathy after not seeing her for over 3 years and not having time alone with her for even more than that. Feels like coming home when we get together and we just take up where we left off

Get away from home and the responsibilities of being mom to the ever challenging, yet beautiful soul, Kyle

Recharge my creative battery by participating in a wonderful experiential, creativity retreat

Think deeply and not think at all

Experience the meditative power of the labyrinth for the first time

Receive a toolbox packed full of creative-juice stimulating tools

Feel reinspired to WRITE, WRITE, WRITE

Remember the power of baby steps.. ie tiny intentions like showing up, writing for five minutes, etc.

Re-experience the power of the question for moving forward

Learn about the magic of the “Ta Da” list... Move over “To Do” list

Play with writing

Recharge my soul’s battery

Attend fantastic yoga classes given by one of the retreat participants, Liz

Meet wonderful new creative friends from all over the country

Feel inspired as I listened to amazing songs written by some of the other participants. Now I have some new music for my collection... and new connections for my connection collection

Receive a standing ovation for the first time in my life... whoo, hooo!

Present It’s All About Attitude to our group... the first time Kathy and I have ever done a book “thingy” together since it came out in April 2006

Shop, but not buy much

Share Breathe and how it came to be born. People were touched by my reading and in turn, I was retouched

Sell  books

Receive compliments on my looks (imagine that!), my writing, and my calm energy/presence (Helloooo ego!)

Reinfuse myself with inspiration, confidence, passion, for writing

Experience the power of connection to my environment, new people, and an old friend

Receive validation as a writer, author

Create a shift in my perspective

Take a break from reality

Experience the power of the mind map in a new way

Discover a beautiful, powerful new poem (I loved it so much, I bought the t-shirt) You will have to wait until my February newsletter to read it.

Enjoy seeing Kathy experience the power of yoga (and she liked it!)

Eat amazing, healthy, delicious, creatively prepared food that I didn't have to clean up after

Partake in “sweets” after an 11 day sugar fast- Mmmm... And they were good ones too!

Come home to the loving arms of my husband, Neil (I'm so dang lucky!)

GET AWAY & RECHARGE MY BATTERY... this is an essential tool for loving and living well with autism and LIFE....

 PS... Can't get the pictures to upload to my blog so go here if you would like to see some.

 

Last Updated on Monday, 17 January 2011 17:14
 
Oops! Maybe that Wasn't the Cause PDF Print E-mail
Written by Neland Nobel   
Saturday, 08 January 2011 14:24

Over this past week, a journalistic investigation has for many, dropped the final bomb in a long and bitter war.  It was a war against the drug companies.  Vaccines were thought by many to be the cause of autism.  The original research which started this claim, was unscientific to the point of being  fraudulent. Perhaps the controvery made vaccines safer and made doctors more aware of secondary consequences, but we did not find the cause of autism. But it also directed research in the wrong direction and made steadfast adherents to a sceintific fraud.

There are a number of troubling questions that come out of this affair.  Why was such misleading work done in the first place?  Why did the medical profession not catch this fraud in the peer review process?  Why, when it was becoming increasingly clear that it was fraudulent, did so many people have a vested emotional interest in not hearing the other side?   Why did so many people need the vaccine blame story to be true?  

I don’t have answers that are definitive, but I have some opinions and suspicions.

I think it is easier when dealing with a really difficult and painful situation to blame somebody, particularly a corporation.  I remember at the time, commenting to my wife, after we had seen a televised debate between doctors and a certain Hollywood actress/model on Larry King Live.  The bitterness, the absolute certainty, and the disdain the celebrity had for the scientists was palpable.  It was not a debate at all, but rather an emotional rant.  I turned to my wife and said, “I think it is hard for beautiful people, with everything going for them, to deal with the stark inconvenience of having an autistic child.  This is not supposed to happen to beautiful and famous people.  It is so unfair.”

But in fact it has happened to a lot of famous people, but only a minority seem to have taken such a public and bitter stand.  It is clear that some people need to blame something for the injustice of autism.

Well, it is unfair.  But if you can blame a company, it is easier than trying to understand why the cosmic roulette wheel fell randomly on your number, and not somebody elses.  And heaven forbid, it is easier to blame others  than face that it may be more than just a random act of nature, but in fact, possibly caused by your own genetic endowment.

I felt sorry for the woman, as she clearly was in pain. But, I think it is hard to come to grips with autism when you are filled with venom for a corporation and the medical profession.

Maybe even more is going on here.  Such attacks serve certain other interests.  The plaintiff bar certainly is to  blame in many cases for affixing blame in order to win  money from companies and governmental entities.  On the heels of the autism news came studies that undermine the fury directed against Pacific Gas and Electric made famous in the film Erin Brockovich

Lets face it: bad things are done  on occasion by companies and governments and lawyers are needed. However, sometimes the system in the US lets lawyers go over board.  As for Hollywood, it can’t seem to deal dispassionately with any scientific issue whether it be cancer clusters or nuclear power.  Good science doesn’t make for dramatic presentation whether in the courtroom or on the silver screen.  You need someone to blame to sue, and you need someone to blame for a film script. So, some people need the hysteria to get the money generated by the legal process or to make a good drama.

I think blaming identifiable entities also lends itself to collective action.  It is hard to raise money unless you can gin up a degree of  hate,  generate conspiracy theories , and or allege  malfeasance. It is easier to ask a large donor for money, or ask members of a group to demonstrate, if the action can be directed against someone or something evil.  Imagine trying to form an organization to battle cosmic injustice.  Who would you sue? Who would you demonstrate against?  What  remedy is to be sought if the cause really is just plain random luck?  Don’t we all ask at some point “why me’?

If you can’t answer that question it is hard to form an organization to fight whatever " it" was that caused this condition to happen to you.

Finally, I think walking around with a constant internalized anger, and agenda to build a     movement distracts from the most vital task at hand.  At present, we  don’t know what causes autism.  I know, I don’t know.  Why did so many people need to know for sure somebody caused this to happen to their child?

At some point, I realized that that I did not know what caused my son's condition and  that he would not be the son  I expected, and that our family and lives would be irrevocably affected by his condition.  I hurt, I cried, and anguished at the injustice.

Then, I decided, yes decided, that I did not have the answers to these cosmic questions.  The only thing I could control was my reaction to these circumstances.  I was not going to leave my wife, I was not going to leave my life.  I had to learn to live with it without  knowing the reason I was selected for this challenge.

One thought I have had, that is totally unscientific, is God selected Me because He knew I could deal with it.  I take it that if He has confidence in Me, then I need confidence in Me.

You just have to decide you will do everything you can do, you will dig as deep as you can, and decide to be happy.  Incidentally, this is a process many people go through, who experience a wide range of issues beyond autism.  We are not alone.   As Abraham Lincoln, who was surrounded by personal and collective misery put it , “A man is as happy as he chooses to be.”

I am not an expert in this process.  And I do know from personal experience how difficult it is.  Hopefully my wife’s writings  are of help to each of you.  I just know that building up a lather of hate, and finding some external entity to blame, distracts the individual from “the happiness process.”

For a moment , just think if the claims were true?  Let us suppose that as an unintended consequence of mixing propellants for vaccines for whooping cough, an unknown side effect was discovered that hurts a small fragile population. The practice is stopped and fewer cases develop from this believed source.

Well, you still have the autistic child to deal with, don’t you?  Will your rage against the companies that did this serve you in your long journey to love and care for this child?  Will your rage help your marriage or will it contribute to its dissolution?  Exactly how would this rage serve your personal struggle at all?

Perhaps we should deal with autism  as a condition with unknown causes and focus on  doing all that we reasonably can for our  children while working on making our own lives as happy as possible.  Wouldn't that be our goal if we did not have an autistic child?

Neland Nobel, guest blogger, Gayle's husband

Last Updated on Saturday, 08 January 2011 16:07
 
New Inspiration PDF Print E-mail
Written by Gayle Nobel   
Monday, 03 January 2011 16:50

Just discovered Amanda Gore. This video is fun, funny, and inspiring.

 


Last Updated on Monday, 03 January 2011 17:16
 
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