Here's another "oxygen-rich tool" to add to the toolbox. This came to me in an email recently. I am not at all surprised.

"At an evening class at Stanford, the last lecture was on the mind-body connection - the relationship between stress and disease. The speaker (head ofpsychiatry at Stanford) said, among other things, that one of the best things that a man could do for his health is to be married to a woman, whereas for a woman, one of the best things she could do for her health was to nurture her relationships with her girlfriends. At first everyone laughed, but he was serious.Women connect with each other differently and provide support systems that help each other to deal with stress and difficult life experiences. Physically this quality "girlfriend time" helps us to create more serotonin - a neurotransmitter that helps combat depression and can create a general feeling of well being. Women share feelings, whereas men often form relationships around activities. They rarely sit down with a buddy and talk about how they feel about certain things or how their personal lives are going.

Jobs? Yes. Sports? Yes. Cars? Yes. Fishing, hunting, golf? Yes. But their feelings? Rarely. Women do it all of the time. We share from our souls with our sisters/mothers/friends,and evidently that is very good for our health. He said that spending time with a friend is just as important to our general health as jogging or working outat a gym.There's a tendency to think that when we are "exercising" we are doing something good for our bodies, but when we are hanging out with friends, we are wasting our time and should be more productively engaged—not true. In fact, he said that failure to create and maintain quality personal relationships with other humans is as dangerous to our physical health as smoking! So every time you hang out to schmooze with a gal pal, just pat yourself on the back and congratulate yourself for doing something good for your health! We are indeed very, very lucky. Sooooo... let's toast to our friendship with ourgirlfriends. Evidently it's very good for our health."

WATCH THIS VIDEO!

I hope you will take time to watch this extraordinary story of Carly Fleischmann, a 14-year-old girl who has autism and is unable to speak, but has found a way to communicate with the world.

"I am autistic, but that's not who I am. Take time to know me before you judge me. "

~~Carly Fleischmann

Happy, Sad, Inspired, Guilty all at the same time.......

Happy- I am always happy to see news reports like this which help bring autism awareness to yet another level. We do underestimate people with autism particularly those who appear to be on the lower end of the spectrum because of the added obstacles they face and therefore, present. It is easy to do this because what we see on the outside does not match up to what's may be on the inside. In many ways, there is a devaluing or undervaluing of people based on their functioning level. Hopefully stories like this help to shift this mentality.

Sad- The sad part comes in when I think about how frustrating it might be to be my son Kyle. Many wants and needs unmet and locked into a body which acts on its own volition and is unable to settle enough to learn to communicate in a more sophisticated way.

Inspired- This story is so inspiring because it shows us that our kids and adults who function on the "lower" end of the autism spectrum have a lot more locked inside than what appears on the outside. I have always believed this though admittedly  have not acted upon that belief as much as maybe I could. The day to day care can be overpowering and overwhelming, making it easy to forget  to talk to and connect with the guy inside vs the guy who is not in complete control on the outside. It is also inspiring to see what the perserverance and support  of a family can do. Watching this report makes it look easier than it is for the family. The work, dedication, commitment and output are huge. They were rewarded with an equally huge result. Often the rewards are smaller and more subtle.

Guilty- I wonder if there are things I have missed in helping Kyle bust out of the trappings of his body. Have I done enough? This question seems to be one that comes to haunt parents of kids with special needs even after their children are adults. Or am I the only one? Ha! Guilty because in many ways, I have run out of steam on this path and am currently coasting.  I still find myself slipping back into the pattern talking in front of Kyle as if he does not understand.

Inspired- All the dedication I put into seeing that Kyle has a quality life to the best of my ability such as providing activites which I know he enjoys may be having an effect at an even deeper level than imagined. And for all those who wonder if driving him around to activities and dedication to therapy and an extreme concern for what he does during the day makes a difference, here is more evidence that it does. Admittedly, sometimes I question it too because I don't get a lot of feedback  from Kyle. Giving without needing to get back directly is part of interacting with a person with autism.

Throughout Kyle's 28 year life, there have been many news reports of breakthroughs. Friends and family think of me when they see them. It seems that often the treatment reported doesn't seem to apply to Kyle and we are left happy for the child and family featured, but with a little layer of sadness for us. Wouldn't it be nice if this could be Kyle? I am not asking for a fix or cure as I have come to accept Kyle "as is". But if his life could be made richer or more satisfying or a little easier for him by being able to reach out and communicate, it sure would be nice. And wouldn't it be nice if people could see him a little differently as well?

Years of our family's hard work have yielded a different result. I'm happy for Carly and her family, but admittedly a little jealous too. At the same time, I am inspired to keep creating little shifts in my own attitude and actions to help Kyle be the best he can be in his life.

Would love to hear your thoughts after you have seen this video.

Butternut Squash? Yup, that tan, funny shaped  item you walk past at the grocery store. It is a real bear to cut into so I like to cheat and buy the precut stuff when I can find it. Psst, Costco has large quantity of precut BNS and you can freeze it.

Butternut squash is great on homemade pizza with fresh sage- YUM! It is an awesome addition to soup of almost any type. AND, is great sauteed with olive oil, garlic, spinich or whatever else you want to throw in there to go over rice, quinoa, or pasta. I love making concoctions of this type. You can probably even mash it into mashed potatoes though I have never done this myself.

Here's the nutrition scoop.

BNS is very low in Saturated Fat, Cholesterol and Sodium. It is also a good source of Vitamin E (Alpha Tocopherol), Thiamin, Niacin, Vitamin B6, Folate, Calcium and Magnesium, and a very good source of Vitamin A, Vitamin C, Potassium and Manganese. It is a good way to get fiber and has a low glycemic index.

Go butternut squash!

Why am I telling you all this?

1- I wanted to catch your attention with something new and unusual that you would not expect to find here. New Year, new forms of inspiration!

2- A healthy body and healthy attitude go hand in hand. I thought BNS could be another form of inspiration for your soul. No kidding. Eating good food does feed the soul, doesn't it?

3- I thought it would be the light hearted half of my blog today because I wanted to share something very meaningful and important, but a little on the heavy and serious side.

Nurse reveals the top 5 regrets people make on their deathbed

by Caroline | on January 11, 2012 |

By Bronnie Ware (who worked for years nursing the dying)

For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives. People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality.

I learned never to underestimate someone's capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.

When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn't work so hard.

This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never

became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a

result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical

details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end.

That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again. When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.

Source :http://www.ariseindiaforum.org/nurse-reveals-the-top-5-regrets-people-make-on-their-deathbed/