Timing is everything. Pick your days and you can almost be guaranteed some special moments. Pay attention and the moments are another opportunity to slow down and remember to be grateful.
There were some tough times for Kyle last week with anxiety. We’ve noticed these times are often followed by a gentle grace period. A sea of calm washes over Kyle. He is at peace and without anxiety. Everything comes easier and he can focus better.
We decided last night was an ideal time for suit shopping. Wedding bells for Rachel and JB are getting closer and closer and Kyle needed a suit and all the accessories to go with it.
Kyle was absolutely amazing at the store. And, so were the two sales people helping us. Neil called earlier in the evening to give them a heads up on the situation. They treated Kyle with utmost respect, talking to him the way they would anyone else. And, they were extremely helpful in every aspect of the shopping experience while being patient and understanding. They even helped us spend more money to get a smokin deal on that suit too. Ha ha...gotta love marketing.
Moments live in the details.
Kyle walked into the store calmly and did not seem at all scared or stressed (sometimes an issue in new surroundings).
Neil took charge of the situation. Hurrah. He has grown so much in his confidence and competence in being Kyle’s guide.
Kyle was cooperative and patient with everything! Trying on pants, jacket, vest, two pairs of unfamiliar shoes AND having his waist and neck measured. Who is comfortable with having a tape measure put around their neck by a stranger? Kyle was ok with it. Of course, it was just a quickie, but still.
New shoes of a type he has never had on his foot before? No problem. Walking was easy.
Kyle was relatively quiet and did not even try to take any surrounding paper to flap (stress reliever). He didn’t seem stressed so I guess he didn’t need a stress reliever. Go Kyle!
Kyle sat calmly and patiently while Neil tried on a suit and also got fitted. Make hay while the sun shines... and we did.
Maybe we cheated. Kyle was having a relaxed, slow, sleepy day and he went swimming before going to the store and it was late. The odds were definitely in our favor. But hey, as I said, timing is everything so why not optimize where you can.
It was so great to see what Kyle CAN do when his internal obstacles are in low gear. And it was so wonderful to remember how far we all have come from the days when Kyle could barely leave the house.
There is a story in “Breathe” called Moments. Once again, those words come to mind.
“I thought about what brought us to this place in time. There were so many roadblocks and unexpected twists and turns. How did we get here? There was no magic formula; just persistence, I suppose. Believing in more than what we could see. Trusting ourselves, yet also allowing others to teach and help. Growing in our own roles as guides in the school of relationships and life, as Kyle grew as apprentice.
And, watching for those moments.”
Needless to say, my son looked amazing in that dark blue suit. Now he just needs to practice wearing that stylishly skinny (according the the saleslady) red tie. More triumphs, more moments to come.
PS I know, I know, where's the picture? Forgot to bring the camera last night.
Tuesdays are very busy for me. My afternoon is spent picking Kyle up from his program, driving 55 minutes to Occupational and Music Therapy and then after two hours there, 55 minutes home. If I have been a good girl in the morning, (which I have today), there is a meal waiting in the crockpot. If you’ve read “Breathe” you know this weekly adventure is well worth the drive.
Last night I found out that someone who worked with Kyle about 14 years ago for a short, yet meaningful, period of time was killed in a plane crash very recently. Her son was also killed and her two daughters and husband survived but are in serious condition. All three children are 11 and under. This person is a friend of a friend of mine.
For some reason, I have been thinking about this on and off a lot. In fact, I had a dream about the gal last night. I keep thinking about her family and also about her and how she had so much life left to live. I also recall what a difference she made for us in the short time she worked with Kyle. She helped us make a huge life altering change in Kyle.
I am reminded once again of how precious and also, precarious, life is. It only takes an instant for everything to change. That is the life lesson buried in this tragedy.
In “Breathe” I have a piece called “ Live Now”. The significance of “Live Now” can’t be overstated. We must.
AND this week’s words to live by in yesterday’s post, “Letting Go”. I believe that’s a must as well. Life is too precious to hang on to unnecessary baggage.
Well, this is pretty heavy today. But I’m feeling heavy. Tomorrow look forward to something on the lighter side.
Still bloggin away, but admittedly, sluggish today. Sluggish and grateful. Kyle is back to himself and is happy and peaceful. This makes my heart smile. (Do hearts smile? Kinda feels like they do sometimes).
I was interviewed on KABC (see bottom for the link) bright and early at 6:45 this morning. Darn time difference! Confession: part of my brain was still asleep and I hope the words that flowed out of my mouth in the fast-paced interview made some sense. We will see.
There was a question about how I came across the mantra “loving and living well with autism”. What I forgot to say on the radio was that this came to us (me and Kathy, my coauthor) when we were titling our first book, "It’s All About Attitude". We decided that phrase summed up the message we were sharing with readers.
Personally, I know that I realized if I could love and live well with autism in my life, I would have conquered autism. I didn’t need to “fix” my son, I needed to “fix” my attitude. It took me some time, but after awhile I learned that “fixing” was a process. There was no “there point” to get to, this attitude business was a journey. And I would learn to adjust my attitude in baby steps, sometimes taking one step forward and then two steps back.
The phrase “letting go” keeps coming back to me. In many respects a shift in attitude is about letting go. And then letting go again and again. The more I can let go, the happier I feel.
Lo and behold, when I was doing the morning random card pick from my No Place Like Om (http://www.noplacelikeomyoga.com/) inspirational card deck, here is what I chose:
Pain vs Suffering
There is a Zen story of two monks who were once traveling together down a muddy road. A heavy rain was falling. Coming around a bend, they met a lovely girl in a silk kimono and sash, unable to cross the intersection. “Come on, girl,”said the first monk. Lifting her in his arms, he carried her over the mud. The second monk did not speak again until that night when they reached a lodging temple. Then he could no longer restrain himself. “We monks don’t go near females,” he said. “It is dangerous. Why did you do that?”
“I left the girl there,” the first monk said. “Are you still carrying her?”
Sandi (creator of the card deck) goes on to say "Pain (might be) the reality of the situation around us, but suffering is caused by our relationship to that reality, whether we can let go of the past, and by our attitude."
Words to live by this week: Letting Go
Listen to my interview here:
http://www.publicbroadcasting.net/wamc/news.newsmain/article/231/0/1685937/The.Roundtable/Gayle.Nobel.-.%27Breathe%27
NOTE: Still having trouble with the link feature on my blog so please copy and paste the link to your browser. Gotta love technology! :-)
Sometimes all you need is a good quote. I found these on peaceonthemat.com (one of my yoga teacher's blogs).
"Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and
try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or
books written in a very foreign language.
Don’t
search for the answers, which could not be given you now, because you
would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything.
Live
the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will
gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer."
~~~Rainer Maria Rilke
"Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save."
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